Forgiveness (part 3)

FORGIVENESS (Part 3)

Relationships are tricky things. In the ebb and flow of life we can easily offend the people who are closest to us, often without even trying. When those things happen, asking for and granting forgiveness helps bring about the restoration of the damaged unity that once existed. Even though we can say the words “I forgive you.” we might still struggle with true forgiveness happening on the inside.

We have already examined two ways we can know we truly forgave: promising not to dwell on the issue and promising not to bring the issue up for the purpose of using it against the offender. The topic for this week’s blog is similar to the last one…choosing not to talk to others about the issue. When we bring an offense up with just the offender, there are only two people involved. Once we open the offense up to others, there is no end to where the information (and misinformation) can go and as a result, there is no way to repair all the damage done to that person’s reputation.

Once we discuss the situation openly with others, we have taken the role of judge and jury. Our contacts will also be dragged into the personal vendetta that began with our comments. The result is that the possibilities of restoration of both a relationship and a reputation fall off precipitously. Today’s social media frenzy is the perfect place to assassinate another person’s reputation. We see it happen daily and its effects are devastating.

If you want to “spread the news” of your offender’s actions to others, it is clear that real forgiveness has not happened, and worse than that, anything you say will likely be spread in ways that will make both of you look bad. Misquoted words and ideas will rush around your networks at lightning speed and there will be no good way to retract them. That will make attempts at complete restoration (God’s desire) highly unlikely and everybody ends up looking bad.

Decide today: I will not talk to others about this incident.