Forgiveness (part 4)

FORGIVENESS (Part 4)

Forgiveness, knowing whether you have truly forgiven someone, has been the recent topic of discussion. Recognizing that the entire Bible is a story of God and mankind being reconciled to Him and others brings me to the final installment of this topic. Once we have a disagreement or an offending situation with a person, how is the relationship affected by the event? Is the relationship simply severed? Do you just tolerate each other? Or is the relationship as strong as or stronger than before the incident happened?

The tendency with all disagreements is to go in one of two directions: we can try to pretend they don’t exist, in effect run from them, or we can try to attack the situation to create a win over our opponent. Neither method of dealing with conflict is effective or God-honoring. Both “solutions” allow for a winner and loser.  When that happens, the relationship that was once strong is now fractured and at least one of the parties will not want to be connected any more.

It is God’s desire to have relationships reconciled and restored.  In my own marriage I know that when my wife and I disagree in an unholy way, we are at our weakest and our relationship and marriage can be threatened. I also have discovered that when we truly forgive one another, that the bond between us has grown stronger than ever before.

How many people walk away from marriages, relationships, church families, and jobs because of hurts that have not been properly dealt with? If we recognize that the real goal in it all is to glorify God, then we can humbly and gently seek restoration so that we can be reconciled and create bonds of Christian love that are stronger than ever. Acknowledge that settling the issue has nothing to do with you. Remind yourself that it is bigger than just being “right” or having your way. Put God first in all of your dealings and you will be blessed beyond measure. You might not “win”, but you will gain much more.

Make and keep this promise and you will be showing a forgiving heart: I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.

The four blogs about forgiveness were based on Peacemaker Ministries material.

The Four Promises of Forgiveness are:

1.       I will not dwell on this incident.

2.       I will not bring this incident up and use it against you.

3.       I will not talk to others about this incident.

4.       I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.